The Peace I Choose.

 Image

If you were to hear,

If you were to listen,

Only if you’d excuse yourself and give an ear;

To the birds chirping you’d hear them cry,

 about the sky,

They’ll tell you how they choke as they fly

how you ruined their home making yours.

How the clear blue sky is dusty black,

How the wars have ruined everybody.

 

We’ll build houses and villas,

We’ll go countries and cities,

To find an escape.

 

Escape from the monotony of life and the purposelessness of it all.

Will you bury the money with you when you’re gone?

Will your platinum card or vip treatment open the gates of heaven for you?

 

Let’s dream about a day,

A clear morning, the sun shines bright,

You wake up and pick up the morning newspaper.

You read about the beautiful girls that have been welcomed on earth,

and the ministers going to people and talking.

No guns, no fighting, no votes, no elections, no marketing.

Just talking.

Sweet words of love and a breeze of flowers swish past you,

 as you sit in the open yard of your house.

House, the one you can call home.

 

Your daughter walks to school, fearless.

They teach her to nurture and make life, a fruitful one.

Men in the society are just men, not monsters of molestation.

The grass is actually green, and not artificially planted.

 

 

In such a world,

Mother earth, rejoices and blesses.

There are no floods, no tsunamis.

Rain, not acidic.

Just rain, pure and fresh straight from heaven,

And It doesn’t drop down on streets,

But on the ground, on earth. ‘Bhoomi’

Where it belongs, where it nurtures and brings new life.

 

The day the cycle of life, comes back

The day we all are one.

The day there is no money, no currency, no exchanges

That day will be “peace”,

Quiet. Tranquillity. Stillness.

 

 

That very day mankind will learn humanity.

 

 

 

 

Neurotic Writer’s Diary – Page 3- Another Battle

Tossed over blankets and pillows, books and papers, fights and affection, breakfast after dinner; the battle continues!

The battle, of being something, being the best, being you!

And then it all comes back the same question Who are you? To whom do you belong?

Texts, calls, messages, thoughts, hopes, dreams, expectations. There must be a reason why we do it, for love perhaps, for acceptance maybe?

When your attire must match your footwear and your hair to the occasion. The battle continues.

When the years and years of worship is blown in the wind…

Just to give another chance to someone, to some kind of happiness which may exist?

We leave the road traveled behind in the hope of our destination. Crossing our fingers, just wondering if it’s water or just another mirage .In the eyes of the world we must look fine, for real is little and expectations many and thoughts? Infinite!

When your heart and mind say different things, the battle continues.

When you leave everyone for the one, the battle continues

When you have to lie for the unknown truth

When you deny the pain

The battle will continue.

 

The lord says, honesty is no sin,

We’re made of emotions not some kind of tin,

If you believe you’ll know,

This battle? Is only yours to win!

 

My Ten Year Old Angel

 

The more I believe in Angels

The more I see them all around me

In friends, family and acquaintances

It’s amazing how much goodness you can see

If only you believe.

I’d call her a little bomb . She’ll blow your mind with her comebacks and thrill you with her amazingly pure thoughts. A true balance.  Outspoken, brilliant, talented, adorable are just a few adjectives.  I’d love to call her a princess but for now she’s a tiny tom boy. Sometimes I see reflections of myself is her, the love for football and guy stuff, the dizziness towards shopping and girly things.Sister from another mother! Probably because we’ve been brought up around the same person!

Never the less,

She’s beautiful. Inside and out. Features of a beautiful woman peep through her face, and you can easily tell she’ll turn out to be a heart breaker of countless boys. A cascade of black hair which now are tied in a messy braid will soon come down styled to perfection. ( Honestly can’t wait to see her grow)

I first saw her when she was almost a baby. Even then she was capable of defeating anyone anywhere. Every time I speak to her it makes me think of the lord’s wonderful creations and perfections. How innocence can stick to true knowledge.

I may have many friends, but there’s always a special place for a few people.

What I love the most about her is the fact that every word comes right from the heart, because she’s still so pure and so innocent. The lord resides in each one of us, but in her he shines out.

 

She reminds me that  there’s still purity In the world, that beauty is precious and love is infinite.

 I thank him( god) for bringing  her in my life. And thank her for reminding me every day what gratitude feels like.

You’re a true angel. 

 

Mediocre me?

 

Nobody is Perfect, but we love perfection. Our words, thought, smile, hair, and of course grades.  Everyone hates people who crib and yet, I am going to do it.

So here goes, I chose a subject I “thought” I was good at. Eventually, I realized my priorities had 6changed and my perspective towards life as a whole. This obviously did not happen overnight but it did.

Unlike other genius’s who strive for perfect scores, I have always been chilled out about my grades . I would rather experiment, mix acids and write down my own formula than read it in a book and learn it. I had to see it, and of course feel it. I liked math, and so automatically I was the genius! Always two books ahead, not only because it made a lot of sense ( Two things join together make a particular shape and when dispatched made another.) My teacher loved me, and I loved her. She made logic , magic and magic logical ! It all connected and made sense.

But yes, all  good things do come to an end. Just 2 years later I landed up in boarding school where I knew not what a person spoke. Yes, Hindi. So, two years of trying very hard to master my French skills , accent and socializing. I found myself in a place where no one understood me, I thank my smile for getting me through.

It took a lot of tears and hardships to finally “fit” into a group of children who’s families had left them there for various reasons. My parents lived a continent away and so my entire focus was now on how to speak the language they spoke and how learn their ways of tying  hair into neat ponies and braids.

Just when I thought I was getting the heck of the independent ‘girls’ environment, learning pottery and knitting I shifted, yet again! There came another language, ‘Arabic’; Great.

There I  was now, from a cold country to a desert. Fine.  I had learnt to accept this word called ‘destiny’ and this thing which was called ‘mediocre’. No matter where I went, I was mediocre.

There would always be people who have been living in that place for the entire time they have been on earth and there would have been this one or two things they have always been good at. What about me? Who am I? Even today I ask myself.

My brother and sister have shifted relatively less, call it their ‘luck’. Every time I questioned my failures I was made to look around at my siblings, who too had supposedly ‘shifted’.

Maybe I’m stupid. Maybe I’m just mediocre.

I never really liked ‘creative writing’. It meant juggling around with words and faking up stories. I loathed the idea of it. Eventually when I started writing, I fell in love. Because in the mad ‘shifting’ and emotional wrecks that I had to face only pages stayed with me.

I no more wanted to be mediocre. Just extremes. It turned out that now as I focus on one thing, of the subjects I have chosen ( better said, made to choose) , I see that here too there will always be people doing more than you and you will see that maybe somewhere in another aspect you’ll fail ( My example- math)

So somewhere down the line , in the eyes of the world, in one field you’ll be the king and in the other a mere slavery begging to pass. Or you’ll just be Mediocre

“Nobody remembers mediocre”; Maybe it’s about standing out however you are.

Maybe, it’s about following what your heart says. Maybe being

mediocre to the world, but best of yourself. I don’t know, You tell me!

Goodbye – A warfare of thoughts

The brilliant day set, as the sun slightly bent to say goodbye. It provided light, hope, energy and certain kind of happiness to them as they stood hand in hand. Awing at the moment, he looked into her eyes as dusk greeted them. It’s always been a precious time, for the lovers and loners.

As darkness begins to crawl upon faces, with only street lights whizzing across, the feeling of togetherness heightens.

She mentally captured the moment; she would have to live with it for quite awhile. She adored him, and he knew.  But when will she see him again? Only fate knew.

For her it was bliss, his arms comforted her, and she knew she was safe. His shoulder always welcomed her head, because it fitted so perfectly. ‘Meant to be’.  He stroked her face gently, he did that when he wanted just a little more of her, when he wanted to convince his heart that the beauty real and his, only his!  The thought overwhelmed him and delighted his soul, because he always knew her as his.

His phone rings “of course”; she thought. He made her happy, and everything was perfect, but you can’t ignore life’s facts and after so many years, she had eventually learnt that. A sudden feeling of sickness was rising in her chest and burning it, as her stomach hurt with jealousy. She wanted to pull away, because the thought of another girl being in those arms being stroked and kissed the way she was? Absolutely terrified her.

He must be telling her the same things! The thought disgusted her. There’s nothing she could do, she loved him and she wanted him, he did too. Somehow, he sensed the feeling, and pulled her closer. Then another thought occurred to her, she thought about the other men she’s been with. They’ve held her too, told similar things.

She was mentally cross with him, and two thoughts later she decided to forgive him. Crazy love, she thought.

She could feel his fingers on her waist, begging her not to leave. But she was so confused; she didn’t want to be carried away by his scent and his love even though her soul craved for her every minute he was away. She wanted to be independent but for him she wanted to bend down and let all go of all her sanity.

He ended the call, it was just a minute long and so much had changed. She smirked at her stupidity. Both their parents waited for them as they stood stealing a few hours from the years in which they got to be together. Life, alas!

He told her sweet perfect words that even her boyfriends had never told, things and dreams she imagined him saying, now he did. She held on to his shirt, just to make sure it was all real.

Only if they could just stand there, even though it was in the middle of the metro station. She looked up to him, seemed like years she had had a chance to look into his eyes. They were still looking at her with the same intensity of love, which surprised her.

They had to say goodbye, even though they both loathed it. For a few minutes, he told her things about keeping in touch, hopes of meeting again, about life, fate, dreams. All those things with which she lived,

Things that convinced her all this time, but at that moment she was numb and horrified. The thought of leaving him made her heart ache, all emotions just stuck together, cluttered and jumbled like apple earphones.  He told her he loved her. Did he?  Would she wait for him to return? For fate to bring them together despite everything?  The thought made her restless.

He bent down to gently touch her lips, but she was so numb she couldn’t respond. He whispered to her and pulled her closer, convinced her he would be back just for her. The thought amused her, as he kissed her slowly because he didn’t want her to be living with the fear of losing him.  Finally, she melted to the softness of his lips and hands and gave all of herself as they held on to each other kissing passionately.

Sorrow, pain, aching happiness, gratitude all of it rushed through at the same time. He kissed her forehead, but she knew she had to walk away. Even if that’s with slow dreading steps because if she stayed, she’d want him more.

Want him in every way…

Run to her, his mind shouted,

Turn back, her heart screamed.

Get back, just one more time!

None did, time was running. They parted ways, just like they did long ago.

Whispers In The Cacophony

Image

Every rain drop whispers as it seeps into the soil,

But you don’t hear it.

Every bird whispers notes scripted by the gods

But you don’t hear it.

Everybody beats a heart,

But you don’t hear it…

 

  Where are you lost? Are you that busy? Or are you that deaf? Even the deaf feel the rain, see the birds .Then where are you? Why are we waiting to tell someone we love them and at the same time waiting to be loved?

The busy roads,

Nullify the whispers of the toads.

Even the gods have come down,

But all you do is give them a frown!

The river still flows,

The cows still mow,

But all you see the colour of the crow.

Listen to the whispers in the cacophony of life

You’ll know life is beautiful,

You’ll know there are souls who believe,

Stop trying to be always so independent,

Togetherness is the nature of men!

Once in a while,

Hug, kiss and smile.

Hear the heart beat of those close to your life.

Listen to the whispers in the cacophony of life

The smile of a baby whispers happiness,

But you are too busy earning.

The cry of a girl whispers attention,

But you are too busy running behind someone else.

The first footsteps of a toddler whisper a start,

But you are too busy baking perfect tarts.

The dog’s wagging tail whispers companionship,

But you are too busy on face book.

The trees dancing in the wind, whisper songs of joy

But you are too busy downloading music.

Books whisper immortal truth,

Your mother’s eyes whisper love,

Your father’s hands whisper support,

Your sister’s anger whispers concern,

Your brother’s teasing whispers possessiveness,

And your inner voice?  Whispers bliss.

Everything is whispering to you and me

Only if you could see!