You’ll find me (Part II)

I’m trying to find a soul,

Wandering and lost.

I’m looking.

For the meaning and purpose of every insect on this land. The curiosity is almost never ending.

This search, this desire.

Are we really meant to live in four walls?

Did we free ourselves from the womb to be choked in our own breath?

Must all of this be so cliché?

Do both a village wife and the president of the United States really go to heaven?

Do they both really possess a soul?

Or are they both individually possessed?

Both by dominations, one a man and other with a country full of men

Both weighed down by duties of their own kinds.

One on a bullock cart and the other in a limo.

Do you actually remember your wedding day as a celebration or was it a union of two sacrifices? Another hassle.

Are you the river or the ocean?

What if you learn that you are indeed the bank where the two meet?

Is there a word to define passion?

Must you always disgrace my love for anything and everything?

Must we always have to cry for what is not ours and stand tall for what we do?

Does it not become awfully heavy? This burden of a false world?

Must this piece of writing have a name for you to be allured to?

Why can I not take pleasure in the way this pen presses its hard self against the soft paper?

Can we not be like animals? If we do have the instincts?

Are we not them?

Are they not us?

Cruelty is dangerous, animal-ism isn’t.

Why can I not be happy with what I have and be drunk with these words?

Do you not see how utterly beautiful they are and how fondly and madly in love they are?

Must we have a licence for everything?

Why can I not find my home?

How do I better enjoy the insanity of myself?

You the wondrous soul,

In me you have found your home,

Your lust has taken its toll.

Advertisements

The Walk To Ecstasy

20131019-020756.jpg

“CEO”; The title that hung outside her door.
“Mrs. Duke”; The one society knew her to be.

The French windows behind her glass desk overlooked another building just like her own. Glass, grey. Sophisticated. Just like all the other buildings in New York. 50 years now in the company, she was one of the finest and richest women of her time. The photo frames only captured moments of false happiness that were forced by the camera men. Who was family?

She was clueless about where they were till christmas, till then even a phone call was a gift. Pearls, heels and suits; her life revolved around it. Deep In thought she noticed that the next building threw a shadow on her office wall and created a delightfully good figure of a tree.
She couldn’t think of the last time she saw an actual tree or park until that day when she took that walk.
-On that auspicious day, he read out the words tears in his eyes and his heart overwhelmed with joy and sorrow both. He knew not what he was to feel, but he knew how right it was.

” Today, I’ll write. Not because someone asked me to, not because I’m forgotten or because I want to be. I don’t want to run away (Secretly, deeply maybe) or get drunk and lay but because I want to be.

Darkness is not evil, it could be a little scary though. I want to walk, and so my dear I’m taking it.

I want to walk, miles and miles without water, without food and books to read. Not because I despise them but because I want to know how it would be without the things I live by.

No money, no, not a penny!

On the dark roads, I’ll walk. My head held high, as though a crown had been bestowed to my head and destiny! Did you know as a little girl I always wanted to be a princess? When I’m a little too tired to go on, the street lights would shine upon me remind me of my destiny.

To walk, to walk and never look back. In the silence of that night, the roads would lead me to the forest. The grass and the animals.
All beings, breathing but sleeping. These days, all too restlessly.

The wind and me, childhood lovers. We’ve been there for quite long now. Let me walk, let me see what you’ve got for me. He plays with my hair, like the younger days of first kisses and romance. Those men had been so wrong and me so naive.  In the midst of my journey, I shall fall in love with the trees, handsome and tall. The branches all over, roots too. But their grandeur too, ends somewhere. We humans, the littlest beings forget that.
Their handsomeness with them, shall die to but not their fruit. They give on.

Here, I shall be admiring them, in awe of their majesty yet I must remember to move on.
You must walk past it, capture it but walk. Forward. Always.

Through the ferns and leaves, covered in dew and mist. I shall greet thee. Like old friends they would wave at me, not leaving their branch and yet spreading smiles. Glistening from the recent rain like an adorned bride, with a heavy heart I shall wave them goodbye. I meet now the mountains, grand and bold. Standing with pride as they do, they smirk in approval to my journey. I bow down in respect.

I see now a land. Mud, wet and fertile. So soft and feminine, like the womb of a mother.

She is a mother to the blooming world except you simply forgot. Let me just stay here for a little while. Ive walked too much. Heavy eyes, stars above my sight. So beautiful. My legs now tired from the journey. The visions, the sights.

Did I see the world enough? I asked my soul, he approved. Anything you’d want to say?

He said to me, I’m glad you din’t live the life I thought you would. You’re exactly where you should! You made me see, all that the world could be. I’m at peace now ! I lay on the wet bed of Mother Earth. The wind cuddling and embracing me. The trees admiring me. The ferns and leaves leaving their abode to fly to me. The mountains sending their blessings indeed.

I’m content, I’m complete.

My lovers and friends all here, the rest is history. I close my eyes, ask Mother Earth to take me in.
Now, my love I can say I’ve lived. The angels await.

Spring, shall be my funeral. The witness shall be you and the world.

Its a celebration! Of life not that which is gone but the one that lived! My lovers and friends were true indeed, stood by me till death did us apart.

With them, I had no papers, no bonds nor marriage or tags.
With them I had, love and purity.

We lived, so celebrate me as she dissolves me within herself and as I fly with the angels themselves. I’ll close my eyes. The walk is over; the destination was truly destined.

I lived, I walked. Found love and ecstasy; Now I must sleep. ”

From the gates of heaven,

xoxo