Flimsy Fear

The space in between is really little.

Between the river bank and the mud that connects to the water line,

between the mascara and the eyelash.

But the difference is a little too much, then how can you tell?

There was a terrible fear of failing, now there’s a terrible fear of being wrong altogether!

Changing paths, letting go.

How can you tell?

“Smiling but we’re close to tears, even after all these years.”

Time waits for none. So I figured. The days fly, the clock ticks , the calender shows different dates.

Fear, just fear.

The guilt of not trying to hard, of giving up too early. Choking fear of death and of an uncertain world. 

Everything remains undone and incomplete. Pages left unwritten and things unlearnt. Flashes of incidences, that make you cry.

Fear, just fear.

A  convincing voice inside my head tells me its another year, another beginning and I mock.

New beginnings come with freshness of things not with the dates changing.

Deadlines, egos, pride, image.

There’s no happiness, no sadness, no anger, no excitement.

Numb fear, just fear.

The keyboard lies untouched, and notebooks lie unwritten and slowly passion begins to die all at once.

Try!

But what? To be perfect or to be average. Keep deciding! The world’s far ahead, doing much better.

A reverse gear into time of stupidity!

This or that.

Me or you?

Science or commerce?

English or Math?

Him or him?

Right or wrong?

 It’s back again.

Fear, just fear. 

“There comes a time when every bird has to fly
At some point every rose has to die”

 

Bareness

On the floor of nothing, I’ll lie bare.

In the air of emptiness, I’ll lie bare.

Drink the immortality or maybe death,

Whichever is calmer, whichever sweeter.

Bareness. Empty. Hollow.

There’s place; Lot’s and lot of place.

It’s what you fill it with.

Now it’s  just a little too cluttered.

Filled with crap.  Hatred. Remorse. Disgust.

I rather be empty; Bare.

 

I’m not smarter or wiser. I’ll be putty in your spell.

If you’re wiser , smarter.

I’ll let you rule over me, let you hold me and comfort me.

But will you? Love me?

Did you ever love me when I was born?

Did you ever want me when I came?

You din’t.

So now I want to be, Empty. Pure, virgin, untouched.

But you, want me full, hurt, bruised and broken!

 

If you can’t wipe my tears, don’t be the reason.

If you can’t love me, don’t hate.

If you can’t let me live, don’t poison me.

If you can’t be mine,  leave.

If you can’t fill me, free me, leave me,

Simply, bare.