Getting to the core- Neurotic Writers Diary- Page 5

They’ll wait for you patiently,

People however patient. It’s these small things, they hurt you.

You don’t have to be physically hurt  someone to make them feel detached, low and lost.

Love is a bridge, the one you have to build and trust it’s material. It’s authenticity.

The stronger, the finer and purer, more the love. But, does it end there? We wish it did.

Every one of us despite our ethics, our backgrounds, our religions and our principles are born to love.

We’re hungry for it. You in your very core know that.

We can hide it and never show it, but you can’t escape the fact.

To physically survive man needs food and shelter.

To emotionally survive, love is the only cure.

 

 Notes-  Getting to the core is another series of my writings, where the questions and answers of introspection are typed down. According to me, they are the most important part of being anything; introvert or an extrovert. To ask yourself questions, to ask yourself where you belong, your identity, you sanity. You don’t need to wait for the day when you’ve lost all that you had and you have to visit a psychiatrist  Because he/she does not have the answers; you do.  I hope these little notes of questions, and my neurotic diary continues to be read if not by you then by me. To remind myself, of me. 

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Neurotic Writer’s Diary – Page 3- Another Battle

Tossed over blankets and pillows, books and papers, fights and affection, breakfast after dinner; the battle continues!

The battle, of being something, being the best, being you!

And then it all comes back the same question Who are you? To whom do you belong?

Texts, calls, messages, thoughts, hopes, dreams, expectations. There must be a reason why we do it, for love perhaps, for acceptance maybe?

When your attire must match your footwear and your hair to the occasion. The battle continues.

When the years and years of worship is blown in the wind…

Just to give another chance to someone, to some kind of happiness which may exist?

We leave the road traveled behind in the hope of our destination. Crossing our fingers, just wondering if it’s water or just another mirage .In the eyes of the world we must look fine, for real is little and expectations many and thoughts? Infinite!

When your heart and mind say different things, the battle continues.

When you leave everyone for the one, the battle continues

When you have to lie for the unknown truth

When you deny the pain

The battle will continue.

 

The lord says, honesty is no sin,

We’re made of emotions not some kind of tin,

If you believe you’ll know,

This battle? Is only yours to win!

 

Let’s Get To Work! Let’s Write!

Pick up a pen my love,

If you’re up for some fancy writing,

Let the fountain pen flow it’s way down the hand made paper.

The happiness is something to savor 

A fat old yellow paged book,

It’ll get you to a hook.

Ah, the longing of being in another era.

Read slowly, capture moments of every race,

Turn the pages, solve the mystery ! You must find a trace.

Let’s get to work.

Put on your glasses that make you look so fine.

Grab your over coats , who cares what is the time?

Walk around and embrace the midnight beauty 

 Let go of all the ambiguity! 

Dusk or dawn maybe? 

Let’s get to work.

Spray paints here and there.

Look, watch, observe.

Feel.

All you can!

Fill yourself with knowledge and observance.

Rejoice it and it shall make all the sense! 

Let’s get to work.

When you’re just too happy and overjoyed.

When the world just doesn’t get any better,

When you’re cold and you need a sweater.

When you’re depressed,

When you’re fatigue and life’s a complete mess.

Get to work.

Pick up a pen.

Ball, gel, black, blue.

Pencils  too.

A spiral diary, 

A keyboard fiery!

 

Write. Write for the immortality of words.

Write for the joy is splendid.

Forget the world, this joy is it. 

 

 

The Neurotic Writer’s Diary- Page 1

Most people prefer to keep secrets, big and small. Some like to discuss it with their friends far and close. And some like me? We tend to experience what we want to write (Not a very productive thing to do.)

I wouldn’t really call myself a writer but I’m on the path of it and that’s pretty evident. Upon great observation I came to realize that my life and it’s events and directly proportional to what I would write in the near future. This has, in fact landed me in deep trouble a couple of times.

I’m plain crazy, and that’s probably what gives me the ability to write. I recently saw this movie, even though her writing was just a part of the movie, it did really strike me.

The problem with our category of people or maybe everyone else too, ( not too sure) is that no matter what, whether we are extremely happy, an emotional wreck or just anything, we want to write it.

Why is that? Well, my fingers itch to write it down, and I’m not satisfied till a brilliant piece( my standards) is achieved.

I’d like to give narrate an extract from the movie;  This lady has almost fallen in love with this man and he too feels for her. With a very true heart he exclaims- ‘you’re a woman to love.’

Well, any woman would be delighted to hear that, and she was too. Later when things turned bitter she used the same tag line as her play’s title to narrate her short affair followed by a heart break. Here’s the difference :

For him, it was something that he would have wanted to keep as a little secret, something that was probably just  for them to know. It was equally special for her, except, she wanted to show it to the world. She wanted the world to know that ‘he’ told ‘her’( only and only her!) that.

There lies the problem, people like me want to shout it out to the world and later we are made to realize that’s it’s the wrong thing to do, that’s when my dilemma really begins!

To top it all we want our life to go not like a fairy tale but like a movie, drama, lot’s and lot’s of drama! What’s a love story without it, but what I forget is that, it’s my life! I’m ready to mess it up for a piece of writing in my head? That’s a little too much don’t you think?

I don’t really think there is much I can do about it. All I can do, is accept the fact that I want my life to be a neat movie in my head with well, a perfect ending. Is that too much to ask?

And to all the friends, brothers, boyfriends, crushes, bitches, best friends, sisters and family. Each one of you are really important in the play of my head’s story, you’re doing an amazing job! It’s me who needs to change just a little bit.

Signing off for now,

Will be back soon with another neurotic back stage scene.