A cold breeze passes by, showing its dominance on nature and me. Even my favorite red checkered polo shirt can’t seem to resist it. I’m strong I tell myself , this wind is pleasant I say and there you are standing so close to me and yet so far away as I my teeth chatter and feet swing in restlessness.
You and you’re mocking smiles. I’m so cold and yet your smile sends rushes of heat through me.
What you think and what I imagine are so very different. I’m wishing you would hold me with those hands made to perfection, but you just hope I go inside and get some heat.
I’m so bold so independent, or so I think. I can beat up a person in seconds I believe, but in front of you?
I realize how tiny I am, how fragile and how careless.
The breeze blows harder, I curse it for making me so helpless and silently I thank it for he may give me his warmth.
So naïve, so illogical!
But he? So right, so logical, so true. How foolish I feel in his presence. “In your dreams”; I whisper to myself, I know it’s not right. But that’s who I am with him.
As though a beggar asking for money, with gleams of hope shining through his eyes. I ask myself, “When did I become this?” That’s what he calls dependence, as I stare at his face.
The breeze, now suddenly a magical element of goodness brings with it chilly drops of drizzle along.
Rain! I want to scream!
I know he’s smiling now, it always rains! It’s my best friend because it comes along and reminds us of the all the meetings we ever had.
Wishes, dreams, fantasy is my world. Reality, logic, thrill is his.
I want to dance and smile ,laugh and cry ! I want to feel rain wet my curls and spread its scent, hoping he’ll remember how much he cherished admiring them. How rain made him think of miracles of life, he hardly believed in. How the scent of my perfume and hair made him happy, how I once made him smile..
Just then I feel his arms embrace me, always been my savior! Both know it is oh so wrong. So many mixed feelings jumble up in my mind and I can’t decide how within seconds my perceptions have dramatically changed. How in a minute I can fall for him and never realize how my heart converts “This is not right” to “This is perfect”.
It isn’t.. He still stands straight and numb; I know a thousand thoughts cross his mind. I want to pull away.
Now its summer, the wind still blows but it doesn’t send shivers down my spine instead disgusts me with its heat.
I wait, for you to come around again, so it’ll rain
Let’s see what’s in store for us this time.